Before Us
by Johanna-002
Summary: AU. Before C, Joe was married. Today would have been their anniversary. "After five years, you would assume something like this would get easier. It never does, and how could it? How could you just stop feeling- caring? It wasn't possible not to care; it wasn't possible not to miss the one you had planned to spend forever with."


**Title:** Before Us

**Summary:** AU. Before C&J. "After five years, you would assume something like this would get easier. It never does, and how could it? How could you just stop feeling- caring? It wasn't possible not to care; it wasn't possible not to miss the one you had planned to spend forever with."

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Princess Diaries, nor do I own Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, I also do not own any of the Cast members. They belong to Meg Cabot and Disney & all of the other respectful owners. I do however own my writing, so please don't steal Johanna-002©.

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-01-

Joseph stared blankly at the stone that marked his wife's grave.

**_In Loving Memory of_**

**_Maryanne Torres_**

**_Beloved Wife, Daughter and Friend_**

**_September 23, 1945 – June 19, 1979_**

A small smile touched his lips as he traced her name with his finger. His smiled widened as all of the memories that they had shared flooded forth. They'd met at a lake in Puerto Rico. They'd only been sixteen and nineteen at the time, but Joseph had sworn the second he had laid eyes on her that she would be his wife.

His smile faded as the memory of her limp, battered and bloody body invaded his thoughts. How he wish he could forget the picture now plaguing his mind. Before he could stop himself, before he could move away from her headstone, an ugly flash back played like a broken record over and over again in his head.

_"Maryanne, are you home?" Joseph called out as he closed and locked the front door. "Maryanne?"_

_Joseph rounded the corner into the kitchen. No Maryanne. _

_Strange. Her car was parked out front and she hadn't called to notify him she was leaving any place. _

_He shrugged it off. Maybe she was out with colleagues from work. She had just started a new job, and for the past weeks she'd been talking non-stop about how enjoyable everybody was. _

_She was a rambunctious, vibrant woman who made everyone fall in love with her just by smiling and wishing them a good morning. _

_He made his way across the flat, unbuttoning his jacket as he went. As he pushed open the door to the bedroom they shared his eyes bulged and his heart stopped._

_"Maryanne!" Her name sounded from his lips in a strangled cry as he quickly made his way towards the limp body of his wife. "Oh god, oh god," he cried, the mantra repeating over and over from his lips as he quickly grabbed their phone from the night stand. He kneeled beside her as he called the authorities; he searched for a pulse but could not find one. _

_As he spoke with dispatch he surveyed for the first time over his wife's body. Her face and body was covered in bruises- her right eye was swollen and already blackening. Her clothes were torn, and her body was covered in stab wounds- blood was everywhere. A cry escaped as he quickly realized that his wife's panties were town from her body, laced around her ankle. He faced the possibility that she was more than likely sexually assaulted during the attack. _

Joseph flashed back into the present. He whipped the tears from his face as he begged for forgiveness from the woman he loved more than anything. He was sorry that he hadn't been able to save her, that he hadn't been able to protect her- that she was gone and there was nothing he could have done to bring her back… and most of all, he was sorry that she had to leave the world in the most gruesome way a person could.

Detectives and Medical Examiners had indeed confirmed that it was a homicide. Maryanne had been beaten and stabbed to death; she had over 27 stab wounds all over her body. The ME had also concluded that yes, his wife had been sexually assaulted- raped, repeatedly, and by conclusion of the DNA, by at least three different men.

Her attackers had been found guilty and were all serving life in prison. No possibility of parole.

Maryanne had been gone for nearly five years now. Everyday got a little easier and a little harder all in the same breath. But he was making it through. He quickly checked his watch and sighed softly. He had to be back at the palace soon- His and Her Majesty were hosting a large ball and it would not due for the Queens Head of Security to be late.

He placed his hand on Maryanne's headstone and quietly whispered his love for her, and promised that he would see her again as soon as possible. He laid the sunflowers- her favorite flowers- down and lit the black cherry candle.

"Happy Anniversary, my darling, I miss you more today than I did yesterday."

X-X-X

Queen Clarisse scoffed slightly, and she shook her head in disapproval. "Now, Joseph, please try and be more punctual. This is a very big night." She berated him.

Joseph sighed softly. "Yes, Your Majesty. I do apologize. I hadn't realize that time had gotten away from me."

"Very well," She smoothed down the skirt of her ball gown. As they walked down the large corridors leading to the door where she would make her big entrance she asked, "What had you been doing anyhow?"

Joseph felt the thump grow large in his throat. The Queen didn't know about her employee's personal life, and she certainly didn't know how emotionally broken her head of security was.

Only several months after Maryanne's murder had he begun working at the Palace, he used to be on the security forces for lord Palimore, however a promotion and transfer was granted and that was how he had found himself as Queen Clarisse's head of security.

"Joseph?"

"I apologize, your majesty," He said in almost a whisper, "I had… a personal matter to see to."

He couldn't very well tell her what had kept him today. Only Shades, his trainee, and friend knew about Maryanne.

Sensing that was as good of an answer as she was going to get she inclined her head. "Very well then,"

X-X-X

King Rupert and Queen Clarisse were enjoying themselves and their guest. The party, after already several hours was still going strong.

Joseph stood guard near the door. He watched as the many couples danced around the floor – a pang of hurt washing through him.

Tonight was his anniversary and his wife was 6 feet under the ground, and he was stuck watching couples – some who didn't even acknowledge their partner- dance around and smile and act as if nothing was amiss in their perfect world.

After five years, you would assume something like this would get easier. It never does, and how could it? How could you just stop feeling- caring? It wasn't possible not to care; it wasn't possible not to miss the one you had planned to spend forever with.

It became too much. Joseph let a panicked breath pass through his lips and quickly turned, walking out of the ball room.

His hand flew to his neck, quickly loosening his tie and unbuttoning the very top button on his shirt. He couldn't breathe and it felt as if the world was slowly closing in on him. Making his way into the Palace garden a sense of fragrance filled him and he could have sworn that Maryanne was here again.

Inhale. Exhale.

Inhale. Exhale.

Inhale. Exhale.

Joseph opened his eyes and it was a complete moorage- but it was so perfect. Standing before him was his wife.

_"Joseph!" She exclaimed with a wide smile. Her lips were painted in red lipstick and her make up was a gray and black smokey eye and her beautiful, dancer, tanned, toned, Puerto Rican body was dressed in a yellow floor length gown, her pixie, chocolate brown hair, framing her face. "I love you!"_

She quickly faded away. Joseph remembered that image of her from the last anniversary they had shared together. He kept trying to will Maryanne to return, he wanted to see her again.

So focused was he on trying to wheel the image of Maryanne back he didn't notice that the Queen and King themselves were slowly approaching behind him.

"Joseph?" King Rupert called out softly. He casted a worried glance to his wife who shrugged slightly, and focused on Joseph with sad eyes; He was not acting himself. Whatever happened today must have really rallied him up.

"Joseph?" Clarisse tired.

As for Joseph, his mind was still trying to will the moorage back. He heard his name being called and his eye brows furrowed. That wasn't Maryanne's voice. Why were people playing tricks on him?

It wasn't until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He was quickly pulled from his own world and was standing face to face with his monarchs.

"Oh," he whispered silently, taking a few steps back he effectively shrugged off the king's hand. "Your Majesties, I hadn't realized… I apologize."

"Joseph, are you okay?" The king asked with great concern.

No. No. He wasn't okay. Today had to be hardest day since he his wife's death and he didn't know why. He missed her so much right now, and everything reminded him of her. It was as if he were on sensory over load.

"I'm fine."

Clarisse smiled, "Do you want to try again."

Joseph sighed softly. "It's been a day…" He trailed doff and his gaze and head snapped to the far corner of the garden. Maryanne! She was here- again.

This time his Puerto Rican beauty was sitting on a bench and she was laughing, He missed that laugh more than anything in the world. He didn't realize that a smile had graced his lips as the image he imagined waved enthusiastically to him before blowing him a kiss and again professing her love for him.

"Joseph" Rupert called again. "Where are you mate, you seem a world away."

"Something like that."

Sighing softly, Clarisse asked, "What's wrong Joseph, we've never seen you like this."

"Today is just one of those days."

Rupert crossed his arms, "Do you need to be relieved from duty for the rest of the night? Get some rest."

"I need to stay busy." Just as the words left his mouth a light breeze blew the air and he caught a whiff of Maryanne's perfume – Clarisse's perfume. "Excuse my bluntness, Your Majesty, but what perfume are you wearing?"

"Beautiful."

What an odd question…

Before Joseph could stop himself the next words tumbled forth ever so quickly. "I thought so. My wife used to wear that all the time."

"Wife?" Rupert questioned.

Damn it.

Shit.

Holy crap.

"Mmm… Yes." It came out as a whisper.

Clarisse smiled, hadn't yet connecting the puzzle pieces. "I didn't know you were married."

King Rupert caught on more quickly. "Clarisse,"

"You should bring her by the palace Joseph, it's been five years and I don't think we've ever met her."

"Clarisse,"

"Maybe Sunday?"

Joseph forced a smile and his eyes misted. "That wont be possible your majesty…"

"Oh, does she work? Maybe I could contact her building and get her a day off." The queen smiled, "I can't believe I've never met her, Joseph – Let alone even heard of her."

"Maryanne passed away five years ago your majesty." Joseph told her quietly.

Rupert looked up to the sky… oh his wife…

Awkward silence.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." She cried. Before she could stop she asked herself, "How did she pass?"

Rupert turned to look at her. Sometimes he wished he had the power to pause reality and rewind.

Joseph cleared her throat. "She was murdered… please excuse me."

**A/N: **I don't know where I'm really going with this or if I will continue. My purpose in writing it is just an AU on Joseph before coming to the palace, and before falling for his Queen.


End file.
